F.Y.I

On Friday, Nov 20 I attended Star Wars in Concert at the Izod Center in East Rutherford, NJ.

If you still have the chance to see it totally go. If you missed it then I hope it comes around again. It was truly amazing.
The Imperial March @ Izod Center

On the Brighter Side

I usually take to my little blog to rant about random things afflicting my life at the moment. Like most things I have to say it usually falls on deaf ears, or in this case blind eyes.

Well to all of my fellow non believers I am not here to complain. Today I am here to celebrate life. Things are starting to look really good for me now. I am on a steady road with school and I finally got a job, though maybe only temporary still a job non the less.

I am content at this particular moment in time. That’s all. I am done now!

Have a great day!

IDK?!!

Is it possible that because I am a woman I have a tendency to fly off the handle? Should I worry that by making that statement, I may have offended all of woman kind?

I don’t feel like I am wrong in this situation. I feel like he spends more time with his co-workers then he spends with me. I constantly hear that I never have any productive ideas to bring to the table, but he never suggests anything either.

I have to be honest some days I think about just walking away from the whole damn situation, but I love him way to much. I don’t really think he would care one way or the other if I left, hell I don’t think he would notice. But I can’t function without him, I just can’t.

I feel like there is to much resistance. We can’t both have our way, but we are both to damn stubborn to realize that. The outcome 100% of the time is stupid drama. Am I just a sucker? I still feel at this point the good still heavily outweighs the bad, but I also feel like the wall between the two of us is so high I may never make it over.

i don’t know …

Fakers

“Chances are, if your friend talks smack about everyone to you, they are talking smack about you to everyone else!”

I just recently read this on twitter. This thought is not new to me. This is something I live by as a rule. In fact I have said this to people in different variations to try and convey a message; never trust anyone blindly.

I think there is a time in most peoples lives where they encounter at least one person that makes them realize this. There was a time in my life where I was surrounded by that type and I was very naive about it.

Typically I tried to stay neutral. If someone was trash talking about a person I wasn’t really familiar with I would just listen, and when they were talking about someone we both knew I told them I didn’t want to get involved. My thoughts were if I did not get any blood on my hands, then I could not be convicted of a crime later.

The moral: People need to earn trust, we should never just give it away. If you are friends with people who do these things, then it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. The situation is just too toxic to be involved in for long periods of time.

Broken

I never thought at the age of 27 I would feel so defeated!

It is all an act. I am the person that people come to when they have a problem. I am the one that listens and gives them advice, and happy to do so. I try to always see the bigger picture and look on the bright side. It has always been my nature to put others needs before my own.

I don’t think that anyone truly understands all of the pain I am struggling with inside. I feel like life is slowly slipping away. It can be so unbearable at times. I honestly don’t know how I get any sleep some nights.

The worst pain a person can experience in life, I believe, is to feel like they are unwanted and unloved. I am almost positive that is untrue for me. I know at the very least my parents and siblings love me. But when it comes to certain people that is a whole other situation.

Of all the people I have ever had the privilege of knowing in my lifetime, there was one person that I thought I truly connected with. A person who would always love me in spite of all my flaws, the one person who knew the real me and loved her regardless. He was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, but I think I’ve lost him.

I just remember how he used to make my heart feel, and if he will ever feel for me that way again. I wish I knew what I was doing wrong. I wish I could be everything he wanted me to be.

I would give anything to have that feeling back. I would give anything…

 

 

Tom-Tom I am Not-Not

I ask anyone who may read this out there in WordPress land to give some feed back.

The possibility for a potential meeting was up in the air earlier this week, but nothing came of it.

I was not invited out tonight with my friends, but I did receive a phone call asking me for directions.

Am I wrong to feel like it is in poor taste to sort of blow off one friend, only to call and ask them to take time out of their life to “text” directions so you can meet another friend?

I ask why didn’t you just call the person you were meeting and ask them to direct you?

The last time I checked I was an unemployed college student/temporary housewife… NOT A FREAKING GPS!!!

Sadness

Here I sit in this creepy old house all by my lonesome, trying not to freak out as I hear footsteps in the attic. It’s not easy but I am trying really hard to ignore it by listening to the “Rock Out” playlist on my iPod. If I listen to any of the other playlist or shuffle the music I run the risk of hearing a song that might remind of him… lol I guess Naked Eyes was right, there is always something.

I guess I should be grateful that I am fortunate enough to have someone around who could evoke those feeling from me as otherwise thats never easy, but I hate it because when it does it consumes me.

It is 11:30 p.m and on a normal night time would have flown by and it would be even later, but because I am so sad waiting for the minutes to pass is like watching a pot of water trying to boil.

My heart hurts and I hate it. I can’t wait for next Tuesday.

Pity Britney One More Time

Music Television has come a long way since it’s inception on August 1, 1981, and not necessarily in a good way.

The initial concept, albeit a good one was simple: playing music videos 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

Current concept : Lots of crappy “reality shows”, and one daily request show that if you are lucky will show about a minute of any given video on the countdown. In essence a rather strong argument could be made that the network should be renamed Music-less Television. (I thought that was clever)

All of that a side there was a yearly tradition established in 1984, the Video Music Awards. This was at a moment in time when we had musicians like Prince, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Beastie Boys, Run DMC, Public Enemy, Guns N Roses, and Billy Idol to name a few. Over time however I feel like the purpose of this particular award show and the quality of it’s “winners” has become less and less relevant.

I guess because as I watched the VMA’s this evening I grew even more annoyed and more disappointed then I was with last years show. How could this be possible? How could it get worse then the performers playing in tiny hotel rooms instead of onstage?

Britney Spears enters stage right

Now I will be honest, anyone who knows me knows that I have a closeted love affair with Ms. Spears and her poptastic music. Those catchy hooks, cool choreography, sexy outfits… I will be the first to admit that in her hay day she was a force to be reckoned with.

Any performance she had at the VMA’s always left people wanting more and anticipating next year. It is very cliche but she was the young woman every girl wanted to become and every boy wanted to be with. With all of that in mind, with all of the singles she had, all the merchandise she was selling, all of the touring, she still had never been worthy enough of the glorious moon man honor.

How then, I ask myself, did she manage to go home with Best Female Video, Best Pop Video, and Video of the year??? This by far is the worst album she has had to date. This the worst song, the worst everything. She was up against some other artists that I feel were more worthy of the statues, especially if you base it on radio air play. I almost never hear her current crappy singles on the radio, in fact I can’t turn the radio on w/o hearing Taylor Swift, The Jonas Brothers, or hello Chris Brown.

All I am saying is that I would rather have gone home feeling cheated then pitied. I feel like she is being rewarded not for honest achievements, but because she has had a lousy couple of years, and because she had a trainwrekalicious performance at last year’s show. I mean she even looked surprised by the time she was awarded with video of the year.

On the up side the performers were awesome. Pink and Rihanna’s performances were my favorites. But I think participation across the board is down with ratings. What was up with the small studio, this show used to fill large theaters.

Well I guess when you leave the funny in the hands of Miley Cyrus what more could you expect.